Oneshot : He ain't you part 1

Nicki sat at the meeting room table facing him, she shook her head at what she had just heard, she couldn't believe she was reduced to doing this, she was turning the situation in every possible angle but couldn't understand how she got there. She turned her head towards her publicist and at her manager, then she turned her head the other way and looked at her lawyer, then looked back at the man sitting across from her, none of them could even imagine what was going through her head, to them it was just a routine meeting, to her it felt like she was signing her life over .

"So, Onika what do you say ?" He asked looking at her with a smile and hopeful eyes, she gave him a wide smile before speaking.

"It sounds like a good thing but I'd have to think about it Rahmeek, I can't give an answer right now."  Nicki answered. She had already let too many aspects of her life in the hands of she didn't even really know who, she wanted control, at least over that yet she couldn't bring herself to tell him no, how could she say no to him ? She simply couldn't.

After discussing everything, they all agreed on a meeting in two weeks, which would give Nicki some time to think about everything and take a decision.

When they got out of the elevator and were making their way out of the building Meek grabbed Nicki's hand and they walked towards the black Maybach hand in hand. He opened the door for her and helped her in the car before shutting her door and walking around the car to his side of it, when he got in Nicki had already opened her laptop and she was about to put her headphones in silently letting him know that she wasn't in the mood for any type of conversation.

"Did I do something wrong ?" He asked placing a hand over hers to stop her from putting her headphones on.

"No, why do you ask that ?" Nicki answered not wanting to start any drama, really she didn't like the fact that he went behind her back and arranged this meeting but she couldn't tell him that because truth was that the real problem wasn't the meeting or the idea of a T.V special for the wedding, the problem was the idea of the wedding itself and she couldn't tell him that.

"I ask because you're acting distant right now, and you have been during the whole meeting. I thought this was a good idea for publicity and everything but if that makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to do it, you just have to say no and we can forget about it all." He said taking her hand into his, he was saying this as if it was just that simple when it wasn't.

"It's not that, I just feel like this might be too much, we both are public personalities and by definition our relationship is public, I don't mind that, but I feel like there is nothing that we control now, there is not any decision we take just between the two of us, there is always a publicist, a manager, a lawyer and it's staring to become too much for me."

Nicki expressed how she was feeling or part of it actually. Since the very begining of their relationship everything was a public matter or a publicity stunt. At first they were just using their friendship to boost his career which he could use after coming out of jail, it just consisted in playing with the craze over their appearances together and the songs and that was it, she'd deny being with him for the simple fact that they weren't together, really she was broken at that time, she was still dealing with her terrible breakup.
This little publicity stunt brought hem closer, indeed they spent more and more time together and had gotten closer, she was unconsciously using him, she didn't want to be alone, she was scared to be alone, she didn't know how to be alone and he was there so she used him, he on the other hand was crazy about her, or rather about the idea of her. When he asked her out, she said yes, because again she couldn't stand being alone, she was learning how it felt and she didn't like it at all thus jumping into another relationship felt like the right way to heal but she didn't know that what she was really doing was running away. Plus it felt right because it was just like her previous relationship , him being one  of Safaree's friends made it feel like in a way she was with him, It might sound creepy but they were so similar on many points, she felt at ease being with him and at the same time he fel like a breath of fresh air, everything seemed so simple with him, she thought she was happy but little did she know that it was only because she didn't care, of course it was simple and she wouldn't get hurt because there was no real feelings, you can't get hurt if you don't care at all. But she thought she was really happy so she rolled with it. Then when their team and entourage caught wind of them being together that's when their relationship started being exploited to the extreme, it was their PR move, a music video to promote ? Their relationship was used. A performnce to come ? Same thing. His album to promote ? Same thing.  He didn't mind it , and at first she didn't mind it either unil it go to the point where she felt like everyone but herslef had a say in their relationship, at first it was just a fling, they were just seeing each other from time to time and all of a sudden because it was a good look for him, because he wanted it, because he was nice guy, she found herself in a committed relationship with him and next thing she knew, she was engaged and about to get married, When he proposed to her she immediately accepted, but not for the right reasons, she said yes because, she didn't see any reason to say no, because she was scared she'd end up alone again, and also because she compared their relationship to her relationship with Safaree , she was convinced they didn't work out because she had hesitated too much and because of the fact that she was a rapper, now that problem was out of the way, Meek was a rapper too, so their was no reason for their relationship not to work so she pushed herself to believe that she was happy.

"Baby, I get how you're feeling, but you're just overwhelmed right now, I mean lately we've both been working like crazy." He started and Nicki repressed a chuckle. 'You mean I have been working like crazy while you were up in them clubs.' Nicki thought before his voice snatched her out of her thoughts again.

"I know just how hard it can be, but you don't have to let it bring us down, we are together because we love each other, not because it's good publicity and we both know it, we can take some time alone without any publicist, any manager and just think this whole thing through and we'll make a decision together, alright ? If you don't want to do it we're not talking about it again." He asked looking in her eyes, as his fingers softly rubbed her hand. Nicki looked up in his eyes, and as much as she wanted to say no, she felt like she couldn't, as every time she was determined to put an end to that masquerade, he ended up convincing her, well not exactly, that's not the word she'd used because deep down she still wasn't convinced it was right but he managed to sugar coat it all and make it feel like it wasn't that bad.

"Alright, I'll think about it, thanks for understanding." Nicki half smiled.

"You do not have to thank me, you know I love you right ?" He asked looking in her eyes again and Nicki had to look away, afraid he would read what her eyes said.

"I know... I love you too." Nicki answered looking at the ring on her finger hoping her voice hadn't betrayed her. Hoping he didn't hear how empty it sounded.

When she looked up Nicki saw that grin on Meek's face, she used to love that grin and thought of it to be cute but now it was the most annoying thing to her, every time she felt like it was his way of taunting her, of laughing at her for the way he had managed to trap her. Because that is how she felt trapped.

"Give me a kiss now." Meek spat leaning in, his lips puckered out. Nicki hesitated before meeting him halfway and giving him a quick peck. After that she turned her head in the other direction and for the remaining of the ride to her house she stared at the landscape that was passing by, she could feel his hand over hers, it might have been an innocent gesture but she felt like it was one of his many ways of restraining her and she wanted to slam it away but she didn't want to cause any drama.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

It had been hours since Nicki and her boyfriend had gotten home. After a quick shower, Nicki had immediately started working. That day was supposed to be a day off, but Nicki was never too keen of these. She always felt like she was doing something wrong by resting instead of working besides these days she had had enough personnal time. She had just realised that ever since her and Meek had started dating she hadn't worked that much and spent a whole lot of time partying instead. She had been delegating a lot of tasks to other people on her team and she didn't want that situation to keep going, she couldn't become one of these artists who simply put their voice on a track and control nothing else in their career. She already felt like she wasn't in control of her personal life, she needed control at least on her professional life.

"What are you doing on that computer again ?" Meek asked walking in the room and getting the laptop from Nicki's lap.

"Just working on some stuff for the clothing line." Nicki answered with a small smile which perfectly concealed her frown, she didn't want to let show that she was highly annoyed by what he just did and by his presence all together.

"Man, why wou trippin' over this ? It's just skirts and dresses." Meek laughed before carrying on. "Besides you know you don't have to actually help design these, let whoever's in charge do it. You know people gon' buy the shit as long as your name on it." He said before laughing some more and handing her her laptop back. Nicki grabbed the laptop not really knowing what to answer to that, she was astonished, she couldn't even get how he could say such things. Truly she felt disrespected, but at the same time she couldn't help but think that maybe he was right. Part of her couldn't help but wonder, maybe it was dumb for her to work that hard on stuff she could simply leave up to people who are qualified to do it. She had the power, money and fame to allow that to happen, what would it change if she didn't work on the designs people were buying just for the name, just like people around her were there just for that same name. 

"You know what you could your use time in a more effecient manner instead. Go get dressed and come party with me and my boys." He said loudly, almost shouting and making ridiculous gestures with his arms.

"Why ? So you can show me off as a trophy ?" Is what Nicki wanted to say. But instead she told him she wasn't feeling to well and didn't want to go out. Truth is she was scared. Everytime they go out she is scared she might drink too much and go back to her old ways, like back when she was with Safaree in the end. She was fighting so hard not to go back to that stage, she knew it was self destruction and she was trying so hard to stay away from that, she knew going to the club meant there would be alcohol and she knew the people who he wanted to go out with would be able to supply the one thing she was avoiding like the pleague : pills. With her being drunk she knew it'd be the first thing she'd ask for and no one would try to prevent her from taking them.

"You for real right now ? Why you always gotta be like that ? What you gon' do alone in here huh ? Common let's go. You seem perfectly fine to me." Meek said getting up and grabbing Nicki's hand trying to get her to get up. That's when she had had enough.

"Yo, stoop. Why are you pulling on my arm like that ? I said I didn't want to go, I'm not going, end of conversation. And don't you ever think you can tell me how the fuck I feel." Nicki said yanking her arm back and getting up from the bed she was sitting on. "Go find some other trophy to take to the club." She added before storming out of the room.

"What are you even talking about ? You on your period or what ?" Meek answered laughing still not taking her seriously, sometimes when talking to him, she felt like talking to a child. 

"Don't act like you want me to come for any reason other than to get the press' attention. You know I hate that shit. It's just like this stupid idea you got. A T.V special for the wedding ?! Nigga what's going through your brain ? Why is it the media's attention is the only thing you care about ?" Nicki said in a burst of anger finally saying how she felt.

"Oh so now the wedding's a problem. Now you don't want to get married ?!" He asked his eyes wide open and Nicki wanted to scream 'Yes exactly.' But her brain did that thing again, that relationship was the idea of happyness she was clinging on and she didn't want to let that go. She was supposed to be happy in that relationship, it was supposed to make her feel great, she was supposed to be floating on air. She was happy, she felt great and she was floating on air. That's what she kept repeating herself. If she was this happy there was no reason to end this relationship right ?

"No, that's not what I'm saying, it's just..." Nicki started but couldn't find anything to add. Truth was she didn't want to get married, at least not right then, not with him, therefore of course she didn't have anything to add.

"Yeah drop it. That's what it sounds like anyways." Meek said for the first time looking actually sad as he walked away leaving a dumbfounded Nicki standing there. She didn't even bother going after him. She waited until she heard the front door slam shut and went on and about her business. She simply didn't care and though she didn't want to admit it herself she was actually relieved, she couldn't take his constent presence anymore. She had had enough of him being there so in the end this argument was a good thing and she knew he needed her and would eventually come back.

It was almost one in the morning as Nicki laid in her bed alone, staring at the stars through the glass ceiling of her bedroom, her mind kept going over every thing that was going left in her life, she tried to stop but she couldn't, she just couldn't, that is what she hated about being alone, there was no one to talk to her and make her forget about those things, she was face to face with herself and with all the issues she felt like she had no control over and she had to look at herself and at all these issues under each and every possible angle. She turned her head towards the bedside table and reached for the small box that was sitting on it. She sat up straight and intently stared at the box trying to find the courage to put it back down but she didn't find that courage and instead she opened the box as tears started streaming down her face. After a deep sigh she managed to throw the box on the bed which caused the pills to spill out of it and land on the sheets. In a swift motion Nicki pulled the covers off her body and got out of her bed before making her way out of her bedroom, she descended the stairs and made her way to her kitchen. She started opening cabinet after cabinet only to slam them shut right after as she couldn't find what she was looking for, she kept doing so while cursing whoever kept moving stuff in her kitchen. Eventually she stopped at one cabinet and got the candy jar and the cookie jar that where next to one another. She brought them to her living room and set them on the coffee table next to the half empty bottle of whine that was already there. She sat on the floor and turned the T.V on to whatever movie was on, she slowly unscrewed the lids to both jars and after wipping some of her tears with the back of her hands she picked her first two candies and stuffed them in her mouth she chewed and swallowed rather quickly before taking a nice gulp of wine straight from the bottle. She repeted the same process 7 times. It was two candies for each day she went without popping any pills. 7 times equals seven days. She had managed to go seven days without popping any pills yet she felt just as miserable, and weak as if she had actually taken those seven or more pills. After her last gulp of wine, Nicki screwed the lid of the jar and remained watching the T.V absent mindedly as she started eating the cookies and other snacks that were in the other jar. She ate and cried for hours. Staring at the T.V without even getting what was going on on the screen, she simply stared at the moving images as her tears streamed down her cheeks. Once she felt like she was full and had had enough of eating she screwed the lid back on the jar and grabbed the bottle of wine. She was bringing it to her lips she decided against it and let the bottle fall on the floor, the bottle hit the floor and  the red liquid spilled out of it, on the floor. There was wine all alound her feet but she didn't care. All she cared about was trying to stop her tears. But it was impossible, the flood of tears was just uncontrollable at this point. The wine and candies always made her feel good on the moment but the problem was that just like the pills it was a temporary feeling but it was even worse, at least the effect of the pills lasted longer and it was numbing. She wasn't drunk enough to feel numb. She could eat all the candies she wanted and drink all the wine she wanted but it couldn't stop her from thinking. She was still alone with herself and couldn't stop her mind from wandering. She couldn't stop all the thoughts. And even worse she couldn't help but think about him. She could try as hard as she wanted but it was impossible. It was as if he broke in her mind everytime she shut him out and that was the worst feeling. She was mad at herlsef for that. She was supposed to be happy with a man she was supposed to love yet the only person she could think about was him. She had another man in her head and in her heart and she could do nothing about it. Was she supposed to let go of what she had and go for what she wanted ? Even that seemed impossible to do. It seemed too hard to do besides even if she did do that. She had lost every chance to have what she wanted with who she wanted. She had her chance and let it pass her by. It was too late now, all she could do is be happy with what she had. Even if it all made her want him even more. Everytime she thought about him and about how things could have been if she had been with him it makes her feel even more miserable. As she knew he was the only one who could actually make her feel like she wanted to feel, with him she felt like she didn't have a care in the world, like nothing could get to her. Anything could happen actually but nothing that could threaten her happiness, nothing could be bad enough to take her happiness away as long as she had him. That's the feeling she was constantly looking for, she'd try any kind of high drug induced with the pills, but all it did was make her feel numb, sex induced with Meek but again it was nothing compared to what she was looking for and she learnt it the hard way once she was passed the infatuation stage. The failure to get that feeling made her want to go get him right away and maybe it was the alcohol in her system that made her do that but this exactly what she planned to do right then. She couldn't hold it anymore as she got up from her spot on the floor and went to put some shoes on. She grabbed her phone and keys and hoped in her car and drove off, not really knowing what she was doing nor why she was doing it for. She just felt like doing it, she felt like she had to. It was it, she had to go and get her happiness,she cpuldn't just be content with what was given to her, she deserved to love and be loved. There was no reson for her to be satisfied with faked happinness and faked love. She needed the real deal and she was about to go get it. That's what she kept repeating herself as she drove through the L.A streets. That's what she punched in the code to his gate, surprised at the fact that it was still the same. That's what she told herself as she parked and got out of car and walked to the front door withdeterination, she rung the bell still sure of what she wanted, but the anticipation as she waited for him to get the door had the best of her and defeates her determination. She was about to drawback when the door flew open and she was relieved to see who was standing behind it. 

"Onika ?! What are you doing here ?" Chubbs asked in a whisper obviously surprised to see her. 

"Hi Chubby!" Nicki expressed hugging him. She had immediately put on her facade smile on. Lately she had gotten even better at doing it. If it wasn't for her dry tears she wasn't aware of and her red puffy eyes, you'd think she was actually ok. 

"Erm, nothing, you know what, I think I should go." Nicki spoke after she had released Chubbs from the hug. She was about to turn around and run away. When she heard his deep voice almost making her shake. 

"Onika ?!" Drake let out, surprise perceptible in his voice.

"Aubrey.. Erm hi." Was all Nicki was able to let out as she looked down at her feet. 

"I was about to leave, so I guess I'm gone." Chubbsg said walking passed Nicki and away from the scene, the two others not even paying him any attention as they were so engrossed in each other.

"Erm, I think I better leave as well." Nicki said about to turn on her heals. She felt dumb for driving all the way here as if they would simply fall in each other's arms again and everything would be forgotten and it all would fallback in its place. She was here and didn't even know what she was thinking.

"Come on Onika, don't be stupid." Drake spat in a condesending tone that let Nicki know how he felt, which made her feel bad but anyways it was too late to turn back around so she followed behind him as he stepped in the house. She followed him to the kitchen where he went to the fridge and got a bottle of water, he was being super relaxed, totally in contrast with Nicki who was filling very uncomfortable and wanted to run away and go hide in a hole.

"Want something to drink ?" Drake asked snatching Nicki out of her thoughts. It surprised ger how chill he was acting. He was acting like it hadn't been weeks since they last seen each other and like they didn't get in their worst argument ever the last time they seen each other. 

"Erm... Water please." Nicki spoke not even able to form a full sentence.

"Plain or sparkling ?" He asked surprising Nicki even more.

"Plain." She answered.

"Plain water ?! Come on it's me you can ask for a Margarita, I'll make you one." He chuckled.

"I know, I just had enough to drink already." Nicki answered and Drake shrugged and handed her a bottle of water.

"Thanks." Nicki said taking it from him. 

"Welcome." Drake answered walking away and towards the living room where Nicki followed him. Once they got there Drake sat down on the couch while Nicki stood still, staring at him.

"You know you can have a seat right ?" Drake spoke barely looking up from his phone. 

"Won't be necessary, I told you, I won't stay for long." Nicki answered again looking at her feet. 

"Do as you please then." Drake shurgged. "Anyways, what do you want ? And why are you even in L.A ?"

"Just needed to talk to you, and erm well I live in L.A, thought you knew that."

"Talk to me about what ? I thought you moved to be closer to your boyfriend." Drake spoke sarcasm dripping out of his tone.

"I said I was planning on moving back to New York yeah, but the goal was to be closer to my family." Nicki explained feeling the need to clarify.

"Right. Anyways, what was it you needed to talk to me about ?" Drake asked still looking at his phone. 

"Erm... Well. Actually there was nothing in particular... I just... I..."

"I see. You're just having one of your moments when you feel lonely and get to think about my existence and you think why not go find Aubrey so that he can entertain me and then we can go throught the usual pattern. Well welcome home babygirl kick your shoes off come and lay in my arms, I'll entertain you until he comes back. And then we'll just act like I don't even exist. My feelings don't even exist.Promise. We good." Drake said with a shrug and Nicki slowly rose her head completely shocked at what he had just said. 

"How can you think such things Aubrey ?!" She exclaimed obviously hurt.

"It's not how it goes between us Nika ? Then tell me what are you here for ? Did you just realised that I also existed when you weren't bored or lonely ?"

At that question Nicki tried to find an answer, well she already knew the answer but she just couldn't tell him what she had droven all the way there to tell him. She just couldn't bring herself to. She was ashamed. 

"That's what I thought. But it's ok. I ain't tripping. It's nothing." Drake said getting up from the couch. He grabbed his phones and made his way towards the stairs he turned around before speaking.

"Aren't you coming ?" He asked.

"Actually no. I won't bother you any longer. I'll leave now. But before that, I just want to tell you that you are completely wrong Aubrey. This is not how our relationship works at all at least that's not my intention, it was never my intention and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. You are not just an option to me and I do not reach out only when I'm bored or need to be entertained. You mean a lot more than that to me." Nicki explained and she was halfway through when her voiced cracked and again tears started streaming down her face she did her best to remain strong and not to let the tears roll down but there was nothing she could do to stop them. She was at the end of the roll right then, she was exhausted and couldn't pretend anymore. She could take whatever from Meek, and simply move on from it because she didn't care that much for his opinion or his feelings. But Aubrey telling her such things and knowing that he felt this way about her completely crushed her. She could be seen as a bad person or be hated by anyone esle and wouldn't care but she couldn't stand the fact that he would think of her in that way and moreover she couldn't accept the fact that she had hurt him. It was the last thing she ever wanted to do. 

"I just didn't know what to do Aubrey !" Nicki spoke after getting herself together enough to talk.

"I don't know what to do everytime shit like that happens. Was I supposed to call ? To drop by like nothing never happened after what you said to me ? You told me I was dead to you." Nicki said and bursted into tears as she could hear him pronounce the words in her head so vividly she felt like she was reliving the moment.

~~~~~~

"Why did you feel the need to come here and publicly put me on the spot like that." Drake asked Nicki in an icy tone as they stood in his dressing room.

"I wasn't trying to put you on the spot or whatever Aubrey, it was just to say hi. That's it." Nicki answered standing in front on him with her head bowed down.

"Please don't put on that angelic act with me right now, acting like you didn't know this would end up in being public humiliation for me again Nika. I had to hug you and act like I was good with being friendzoned again after I been screaming my love for you for I don't know how long and I had to congratulate you on your new relationship. On stage !! Nic on fucking stage." Drake almost shouted causing Nicki to take a few steps back. 

"You brought that up Aubrey. Nobody forced you to. You could've just hugged and that would've been it. I really came on stage just to show support that's it." Nicki tried to explain herself again. It was the truth, she was at Coachella for her own business, she had that video to shoot with Beyoncé and also it was a way for her to take some time on her own and relax in a good environment. And she absolutely wanted to see Drake's set no matter how fucked up their relation was in that moment. One of his performances was just something she couldn't miss. She wasn't even planning on walking on stage like that. She simply was in a good mood and thought they could simply move on just like that with a smile and a hug. But once she walked on stage she immediately felt it. When he hugged her, when he spoke to her and congratulated her. She felt the tension and knew it wouldn't be this easy to move on.

"I had to bring it up! I had to. Look I know this ambiguity about us doesn't affect you. I know it's easy for you. You made it clear, I was just a passade. Now you're with Meek. You are happy, I can see it. The whole wide world can see it. But do you know where that leaves me at ?! I'm just the dude that was dumb enough to think there was something. I'm the guy that was friendzoned. So yeah I had to bring it up. I had to clarify shit because of that fucking image of me you created Nika. But you know what ? I'm done with it. Done. You can't just play me like that. You broke up with Safaree and came to me. I was there for you. I could say that I was the one harboring crazy illusions but truth is you lead me on and you let the whole wide world think the same thing I was thinking only to crush me and my image. You ain't even let me know nothing. I had to find out like everyone else. You played me. And now you coming in here talking about you want to show support ? I don't need no support from you. I'm good. You've proven that you were only good at recieving. You are just trying to start the same pattern as every time so go straight to the point. What do you need me for or rather how long do you need me for. Just the week end, a week ? It doesn't matter because guess what ? I am not available, this little game is over. You can't use me anymore. You are dead to me." Drake spoke his last words in a blood curdling tone getting up from his seat and walking out of the dressing room leaving Nicki standing there dumbfounded. Of course she was expecting him to be a little upset given how things had went between them the last time they spoke, she knew he was mad at her because of the way she went about things since her breakup and she could admit that it wasn't the best way to go but he was totally wrong when it came to the intent behind her actions. She never meant to lead him on, only to get with another guy afterwards.

It was all genuine. She really enjoyed every single moment they spent together and the only reason why she let herself get this close to him was because of the way he made her feel, because she knew she could only feel that way when she was around him. But then she got scared, those feelings scared her, they scared her because they were something she had no control over at all. She was scared of herself and scared of him. She didn't know how he felt, she didn't know if he had the same feelings, if he genuinly cared about her, the same way she cared about him. She didn't know if he wanted her the way she wanted him or if she was simply another girl to him. And if he did care for her and wanted her, would he end up breaking her heart and crashing her hopes like the others before him did. That was the scariest thought. Her fears got the best of her and that is why she decided to run away and settle for something that might have been less beautiful, less magical but that was at least less scary and less risky for her heart.

Drake on his part was the one who ended up heartbroken, by trying to protect herself from a heartache Nicki had ended up breaking his heart without even meaning to. It was the last thing she wanted to do. 

For those reasons she could understand how he was feeling then but she never thought she had cut him that deep and for him to tell her those things he had just said to her made her feel bad and desgusted by her own actions. Had she have the power to, she would go back in time and fix her mistake but she knew it was impossible and she'd have to live with it and with the words she just heard come out of his mouth. She had to face it , she messed up and hurt him to the point where he considered her to be dead to him. She had lost him for good and she was the only one to blame.

Nicki stood at the bottom of the stairs, crying her eyes out facing Drake who was a few stairs up. He looked at the broken woman before him and just couldn't stand the view. Ever since those words came out of his mouth he immediatly regreted pronouncing them, he was mad at himself for saying that and speaking out of anger like that. He knew she could never be dead to him, he loved her too much for that, she always had and always will have a special place in his heart and his mind. His pain had the most of him that day and he just snapped. When he saw her after such a long time all of the built up anger and frustration came out at once. He wanted to really mean that he was happy for her but he couldn't shake the anger, the pain, the frustration and the jealousy. But the worst had to be that feeling of being used. He really felt like he was a disposible object to her. One you use and then throw away.

When he saw her earlier at the door he could clearly see that she was miserable, he had noticed the dry tears, the bloodshot eyes, how her head was bowed down, he noticed that her mouth wasn't curled up in a smile as it usually is, he knew she was unhappy and wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be ok and that she had to cheer up because they could overcome this, whatever it was. But he had to hold back. He had to stick up to his wirds to show her that this time it wasn't a joke, that he was really tired and hurt and that he wasn't going to subject himself to anymore pain caused by that downward spiral they used to be caught in. But right then seeing her in that state made all of these harsh feelings fly away and he couldn't help running to her and wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight. He couldn't help kissing the top of her head to soothe her. Feeling the warmth provided by his body made Nicki cry even more. She cried not because of the harshness of his words, not because of the numbing pain she was constantly feeling but out of joy, as odd as it is in this moment she was crying out of joy, she was happy, happy because she had finally found that warmth and that feeling that fullfilled her heart.

"I am so sorry." She managed to let out through her tears, apologizing to him but also to herself for causing so much pain to the both of them.

"Shh..." Was all Drake was able to say, he didn't want to let words ruin anything besides his own pain couldn't allow him to tell her that it was ok, because he simply didn't feel like any of this was ok. For the moment he just wanted her to calm down because he couldn't stand seeing her in the state she was in and then maybe he wanted to sort things out but that wasn't something he was sure of. Maybe he just wanted to be over their situation, over her. All he knew right then was that the view before him was heartbreaking and he could never let her leave his house in that state. Even though he wanted to derive from their usual pattern more than anything, he would, as usual, take her in his arms and make sure she left his house at least feeling a bit better and at best happy again. He figured they'd figure the rest out only once she was ok, as they usually did and maybe that was always his mistake in the first place. 

~~~~~

This oneshot actually is an idea my bestfriend gave me, it's not really my plot , she makes up the plot and I write because she hates writing and I don't really like making up stories with that much elements from reality, but she was so excited about her plot I decided to give it a try, anyways I hope you enjoyed reading and please leave comments and feedbacks, let me know whether you like it so far or not.

Thanks for reading me (us lol). Mucho Love
XOXOXO